


Keeping Up Appearances

by henry_amargosa



Category: The Fosters (TV 2013)
Genre: Crying, Loneliness, M/M, Separations, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-18
Updated: 2015-08-18
Packaged: 2018-04-15 10:53:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4604043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/henry_amargosa/pseuds/henry_amargosa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jude tries to stay strong after Connor moves to Los Angeles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keeping Up Appearances

**Author's Note:**

> I usually write happy Jonnor fics, but I needed to get some sadness off my chest.

It had been a week since Connor had left for Los Angeles to live with his mother. Jude, selflessly but stupidly, urged him to go, to find a safer and more comfortable place for Connor to live and not be judged every single day by a parent he looks up to and loves. Jude had meant to help his boyfriend find happiness and peace and stability. It was supposed to be good for Connor in the long run.

That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. It did. It hurt like hell.

Jude and Connor still talked on the phone every day, and exchanged text messages all the time. Connor would send him a picture of some new sight in L.A. Jude would respond with a snapchat of his breakfast.

He had been keeping up appearances around the house, around his family. It wasn’t too difficult. Jude had spent years in the foster system learning to hide his negative feelings, to bottle them up and push them deep down. And he was getting extra help as most of the household was distracted. Jesus had dragged Mariana and his moms into some drama surrounding boarding school. Brandon had thrown himself into his music ahead of his Disney Hall debut. Callie was still focused on her fresh adoption and on expanding her “Fost & Found” app. The first day of school was fast approaching. It was easy for Jude to slip into the background, to stay away from the family and withdraw into himself.

It was evening, and Jude had just showered off the grime of the day and returned to his room when his phone beeped with an incoming message.

Connor: “My mom took me to the walk of fame thing today”

Jude responded.

Jude: “With all the movie stars on it?”

Connor: “Yeah”

Connor: “I got to see Jennifer Lopez’s star”

Jude rolled his eyes. Connor was recently obsessed with Jenny from the Block. He dashed back a message asking if Connor had found any “Star Wars” people. While waiting for a response, he pulled on his pajama bottoms. Going for a shirt, he noticed a bit of black fabric sticking out inside his drawer. He pulled it out and remembered it was the “I’m not gay but my boyfriend is” shirt Connor had gotten him the night of the LGBT prom. Jude had been miffed at the time, and shoved in his drawer to forget about it. It had symbolized his fear. Now as he held it before him, he found all it made him think about was Connor. He was compelled to slip it on.

Standing in the middle of his room, Jude pulled the collar over his nose and took a deep sniff. It didn’t make any sense. Connor had never worn the shirt, so it only that chemical smell that comes with new fabric. It didn’t matter. Somehow it still made him miss his boyfriend.

His phone dinged again.

Connor: “Couldn’t find Spielberg. Gonna hit the hay. Good night! I love u”

Jude blinked at the message, his thumb rubbing the side of phone in a nervous tic. He tapped out a message.

Jude: “I love you too”

He watched the message send, then set the phone on his bedside table and dropped onto the mattress, pulling his arms tightly around himself. Jude rolled onto his side, his head on his pillow, as he stared into the distance. After a few moments, a single tear fell down his cheek, staining the pillowcase. He wiped away the trail, but more tears followed, and Jude resigned himself to using a flimsy joke shirt to try and fill the hole in his chest that was burning deeper and deeper into him.

Just then, Callie barged in.

“Hey, have you seen my… uh…” she trailed off when she noticed Jude lying despondent.

“Connor?” she asked simply. Jude nodded slightly, but otherwise made no move to turn away. Callie stepped over and sat on the edge of the bed, taking Jude’s hand in hers. They sat in silence, tears falling down Jude’s face, and Callie squeezed his hand and tried fruitlessly to take on some of his pain. After a time she laid down beside him, and eventually Jude fell into sleep, and his crying ended.

He had no idea that a similar scene had played out 100 miles to the north.


End file.
